Car Trouble.

Stupid car, may have cooked the motor. if so it's goodbye car. crap.
and im so over trains. i like them sometimes but the rest of the time i hate them, but i dont
even know why cos i normally actually enjoy long train rides. ha..ANYWAY.
i hate how practical things can trigger mental things.
i never thought i'd ever be one of those people who let everything out by anger.
Such bitterness and frustration has welled up in me lately. like every single emotion i've been
feeling has all run together and turned itself into one big ball of anger and irritation.
No one really knows me then i guess, because i'm 'the quite one', passive and placid, kind
and would never hurt anything. But maybe it's not true, well atleast half true.
I could've bashed you til your whole body was a different colour, til you begged me to stop i
wouldn't have stopped.
you kept egging me on and i almost snapped.
But i don't want to snap.
i love people too much, i care too much.
i dont want people to see that side of me.
i know it would ruin alot of things.
i am all for honesty and being yourself.
i love people being themselves, including me.
and i am myself,
but maybe i don't want to be my whole self.
some parts of myself i just dont want anyone to see

Are we all like that?
Parts of ourselves that are just too embarrassing,
shameful,
that we ourselves are afraid of
parts of ourselves that we dont ever want to come out

But its almost happening to me
my real,
whole self is comng out to everyone
wanting to say hello...
and it's making me shit scared to the max.