laugh until your brain pops through your eyes

"Hey just want you to do something. i want you to remember when you first fell in love with God and why. And then i want you to ask yourself how much do i love God now and is it the same. Also take some time to think about it." - Quinton.

hmm...i'm not sure if it's about this anymore, if it's exactly wether i love God or not. But then it depends on what loving God actually means, because the Bible says 'if you love me you will obey my commands'. But obviously God would then know that in this 21st century people would disobey people they love and be disloyal to the ones dearest to them.
But is that just a display of maybe humans don't know what true love is?

But i can't change who i am, and i've asked God to do it for me and help me do it for myself, and all it's made me is dizzy, of going round in circles ending up in the same rut. i had a fun, loving and great relationship with bonnie, and this fucked it up. i had a brilliant, loving and fun relationship with rylee and this fucked that up too.
Two amazing relationships and friendships i have ever had, and it's gone to shit because i thought it was evil?
Then what the fuck do i call it?!

love is love.
Does gender really make a difference?
i don't care anymore.
call me a walking contradiction but i am who i am and i still love God regardless.
I've come to accept my fucked up-ness. i don't need him to 'take it away' for me.
i still believe in loving your neighbour like yourself.
i believe in treating others the way you'd like to be treated.
i believe in being nice, 'the good samaritan' to the ones everyone else hates.
i believe in not judging or else you'll be judged yourself.
i believe in honouring your father and mother.
i believe in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
i believe in generosity
i believe in helping 'the least of these'.

But i am not doing this anymore.
i'm sick of pretending.
i'm sick of being two-faced.

i love God
I'm gay and i love Clare
i love jesus
i like girls and i can't change that
life is life,
love is love
and hope is still real.

there.

i believe God still loves me
it's all about love in the end anyway
the beatles got it right again..
'All you need is love'.

i mean, who knows,
we might all have it wrong
that he wasnt saying it an abomination
Jesus loved the outcasts
so the church these days hating the outcasts
that doesnt make sense
but its happening

the world would be better off if it had some more acceptance flowing through it.